Anniversaries can be bittersweet. Today's December 29th....a year ago yesterday Theresa and I met at the IKEA outside of DC. We shopped, ate, played with our kids, and had a great day. Theresa was having a hard time catching her breath, and so far her doctor had been unable to figure out why. She was upset at being sick over the holidays, but determined to have fun, anyway. We went our separate ways that night, figuring we'd see each other in a few weeks (we live 2+ hours apart).
The next day, December 29th, I was cleaning and reorganizing the girls' room - and was knee-deep in assorted crap when the phone rang. It was Theresa, calling from the hospital. Her doctor had done a chest x-ray and sent her immediately to the ER. She was calling now because the doctors were scaring her. They were being very, very attentive. They were also pulling bloody fluid from her lung. None of this sounded good to me. I tried, and failed, to find someone to watch my kids so I piled them in the car and headed to Frederick. They had admitted her to the hospital, but were still running all kinds of tests. Something was going on, but they weren't telling us yet.
I returned to the hospital the next day, December 30th. Theresa was holding on to the hope that the doctors would soon tell her everything was fine, and kick her out. This had happened to me the previous year, after 12 hours of terrified hell. I had looked up "bloody lung fluid" online, and was now terrified. I now knew it couldn't be "nothing" - and was holding onto the hope that she had Lupus or TB - although the odds were slim.
She didn't. I was there when the doctor entered the room and began to tell us she had invasive breast cancer that had already spread to her lungs and spine. We sat there, weeping and terrified, trying to figure out what this really meant. We got on our cell phones, Theresa calling multiple friends and family, gathering everyone to her. I called my husband, who was busy with a new job he'd started the week before. I used the three word code that is always guaranteed to get action, "I need you". Everyone close to me knows that using this code will cause me to drop anything and everything and rally to the need at hand. My husband knew, although he had never heard me utter the words before, that he now had to do the same. He arrived three hours later.
The next couple of days are fuzzy. The only thing I really remember is going to Borders with Theresa, looking for books about dealing with breast cancer. The clerk advised us to look in the "Death and Dying" section - and I went postal. We eventually found the books in the "Health" section - where they belong! Betcha that clerk will NEVER make that mistake again! (can you say, "Crazy lady in the non-fiction section"????)
It's a year later. Theresa's in remission. She's left a bad marriage and is trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life. Yesterday Theresa and I met at a Costco between DC and Baltimore. We shopped, laughed and ate, and eventually traded daughters. She's coming to my house later today and spending the night. I'm glad she's spending her cancerversary with me. I hope she spends many, many more here, too.
Here's to the future!
Friday, December 29, 2006
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Merry Un-Christmas!
Christmas is over
The goose is dead and et.
The old man has no ha-penny
The old man has more debt!
Ah, Christmas is over. Well, except for the trashed house and the distinct feeling that I've eaten waaay too many cookies. Curses on me for finally finding the stove!
It was a good Christmas, low-key and comforting. The kids finally passed out on Christmas eve after we watched "The Santa Clause" movie and tracked Santa's flight with Norad. They woke up at TWO AM, convinced it was Christmas. They were finally convinced to sleep a while longer, and managed to stay abed until the grand old hour of six am. (Theresa's kids had to be dragged from bed at 10:30am).
Everybody has their own way of handling Christmas morning. Me...I go the MEAN route. I've never liked the frenzied "gimme" approach to Christmas morning, with everyone tearing into gifts like speed demons. We start with coffee (naturally)and stockings - then the kids play with the stocking tidbits for awhile. They take turns each opening a present, and then they play with the present before moving on. The kids don't get done until afternoon. This year the kids gave gifts to the grown-ups, and were anxiously awaiting the time for "their" gifts to be opened. It was fun.
Merry Un-Christmas, and Peace on Earth, my friends!
The goose is dead and et.
The old man has no ha-penny
The old man has more debt!
Ah, Christmas is over. Well, except for the trashed house and the distinct feeling that I've eaten waaay too many cookies. Curses on me for finally finding the stove!
It was a good Christmas, low-key and comforting. The kids finally passed out on Christmas eve after we watched "The Santa Clause" movie and tracked Santa's flight with Norad. They woke up at TWO AM, convinced it was Christmas. They were finally convinced to sleep a while longer, and managed to stay abed until the grand old hour of six am. (Theresa's kids had to be dragged from bed at 10:30am).
Everybody has their own way of handling Christmas morning. Me...I go the MEAN route. I've never liked the frenzied "gimme" approach to Christmas morning, with everyone tearing into gifts like speed demons. We start with coffee (naturally)and stockings - then the kids play with the stocking tidbits for awhile. They take turns each opening a present, and then they play with the present before moving on. The kids don't get done until afternoon. This year the kids gave gifts to the grown-ups, and were anxiously awaiting the time for "their" gifts to be opened. It was fun.
Merry Un-Christmas, and Peace on Earth, my friends!
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Oh Christmas Tree
Oh Christmas tree....how furry are your branches!
They dip and bounce with wild delight
The kittens playing out of sight.
Yup, we have a special tree this year, courtesy of the fuzzy wild ones. The kittens are thrilled with "their" tree - and the children spend the day re-hanging ornaments that are batted down. All the breakable ornaments stayed packed this year, and the tree is decorated with an odd assortment of cutesy and hand-made ornaments we've collected over the years. None of it my taste, actually - but I inherited them from my mom -and my kids love them. {{{sigh}}}
This is "dance hell" week at our house. The girls take both ballet and jazz, and this year the dance school decided to do a Christmas fundraiser program. They decided to put it on at the school to save money, but can only seat a limited audience, so they're doing it THREE nights - Wednesday, Thursday AND Friday. So my girls have three very long nights, plus normal classes last night and classes and dress rehearsal tonight. It's going to be a very, very long week.
Great. The kittens are wrestling....at the top of the Christmas tree. Oiy vey.
They dip and bounce with wild delight
The kittens playing out of sight.
Yup, we have a special tree this year, courtesy of the fuzzy wild ones. The kittens are thrilled with "their" tree - and the children spend the day re-hanging ornaments that are batted down. All the breakable ornaments stayed packed this year, and the tree is decorated with an odd assortment of cutesy and hand-made ornaments we've collected over the years. None of it my taste, actually - but I inherited them from my mom -and my kids love them. {{{sigh}}}
This is "dance hell" week at our house. The girls take both ballet and jazz, and this year the dance school decided to do a Christmas fundraiser program. They decided to put it on at the school to save money, but can only seat a limited audience, so they're doing it THREE nights - Wednesday, Thursday AND Friday. So my girls have three very long nights, plus normal classes last night and classes and dress rehearsal tonight. It's going to be a very, very long week.
Great. The kittens are wrestling....at the top of the Christmas tree. Oiy vey.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Dreams among the ashes
"Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall not be disappointed."
I have no idea who said that - but he had a good point. We, in fact, did NOT get high speed internet. They couldn't find the radio signal. They've promised we will eventually get it, but no clue as to when. And, to really make matters worse, my computer's acting up and things are 10 times SLOWER than normal. And normal is pretty darn slow!
Let's see if I can find the positive....well, at least I HAVE a working computer now - it was out of order the last couple days. At least I didn't cancel the dial-up service prematurely. And at least I ........um......nope. I've got nothing. Except time to go make coffee and toast while each page loads. I'm going to weigh 400 pounds before high-speed gets here!
I have no idea who said that - but he had a good point. We, in fact, did NOT get high speed internet. They couldn't find the radio signal. They've promised we will eventually get it, but no clue as to when. And, to really make matters worse, my computer's acting up and things are 10 times SLOWER than normal. And normal is pretty darn slow!
Let's see if I can find the positive....well, at least I HAVE a working computer now - it was out of order the last couple days. At least I didn't cancel the dial-up service prematurely. And at least I ........um......nope. I've got nothing. Except time to go make coffee and toast while each page loads. I'm going to weigh 400 pounds before high-speed gets here!
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
On the sidewalks of New York
Yesterday we trekked to New York City. The children had never been there, John has been there twice, and I.....well I lived there for six years while I was attending graduate school. Yesterday we had tickets to Radio City Music Hall -so traveled a total of 11 hours to spend 9 hours in The Big Apple.
It was good to be back. Many things had changed - I had a hard time finding non-tourist places to eat. I did drag everyone to Hell's Kitchen to my favorite Chinese restaurant, Westside Cottage II. My girlfriend and I used to eat there frequently when we lived in Times Square. The food was delicious - and cheap; and back then they served FREE wine with dinner - as much as you wanted - and after they got to know you they gave you x-rated fortune cookies. No wine this time, but the food was excellent and they still offer the x-rated fortune cookies! John was delighted with his. Even the children said the chicken lo mein was yummy - and a woman behind the counter said she remembered me!
I did find a few small things had changed in the city, besides the local eateries. I lived there before 9-11, before cell phones, before Starbucks, and before the internet! Let's face it, people - I'm OLD! The flavor and feel of the city was unchanged, though.
I dragged my poor family for miles yesterday - literally. Gabe, my five year old, never complained once, just kept walking. Everyone was awesome. It was a good day.
Today's good, too. I got a letter from my mom -and then I called her. We're ok now, I think. And...I'm waiting for someone to come install high-speed internet!!! Wahoo!
Happy Tuesday!
It was good to be back. Many things had changed - I had a hard time finding non-tourist places to eat. I did drag everyone to Hell's Kitchen to my favorite Chinese restaurant, Westside Cottage II. My girlfriend and I used to eat there frequently when we lived in Times Square. The food was delicious - and cheap; and back then they served FREE wine with dinner - as much as you wanted - and after they got to know you they gave you x-rated fortune cookies. No wine this time, but the food was excellent and they still offer the x-rated fortune cookies! John was delighted with his. Even the children said the chicken lo mein was yummy - and a woman behind the counter said she remembered me!
I did find a few small things had changed in the city, besides the local eateries. I lived there before 9-11, before cell phones, before Starbucks, and before the internet! Let's face it, people - I'm OLD! The flavor and feel of the city was unchanged, though.
I dragged my poor family for miles yesterday - literally. Gabe, my five year old, never complained once, just kept walking. Everyone was awesome. It was a good day.
Today's good, too. I got a letter from my mom -and then I called her. We're ok now, I think. And...I'm waiting for someone to come install high-speed internet!!! Wahoo!
Happy Tuesday!
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Small problems
I have a whole new respect for day-care providers and pre-K teachers. How do they do that everyday without large quantities of drugs and/or alcohol???
We had our homeschool co-op yesterday. This semester I'm teaching two classes, Math Games for 1st-4th graders, and a play/learn class for 3-5 year olds. Unfortunately, yesterday I also had to help out with another pre-school class. The woman teaching was running a tad late, so I was surrounded by 6 or 7 pint-sized people. One boy ran up to me, said something unintelligible, then pulled back his foot and kicked me in the shin. As my mouth dropped to the floor and I struggled for control (I figured it wasn't acceptable to kill someone else's kid) he pulled back his foot and kicked me again!!!! At this I grabbed him by the shoulders and hauled him into the nearest chair - then knelt down and informed him, in my best threatening voice, that he WILL NOT kick. At this point I realized he had been demonstrating his version of karate to me, because he was quick to inform me that karate people did indeed kick. So I quickly changed my threat to, "You will NOT kick HERE!"
While I was still recuperating from this, another boy ran to the bathroom. Usually not a problem, but this 5 year old apparently is not "wiping" yet - so I was called. With my eyes watering and valiantly trying not to retch, I did the odious deed (odiferous deed?) and considered telling his mother she needed to reconsider her menu selection. Then I got to spend another hour telling children to stop putting toys in their mouths, breaking up fights, calming screaming fits, and dealing with my own whining children (who were apparently in the first stage of illness - they're now camped out on the couch, complaining.) After my last class I sought out a girlfriend and honestly informed her that if my husband were not already "altered" I would be attempting it as soon as I returned home. I think I'll stick to the older kids for a while. At least they're self-wiping.
On a more positive note - this coming Tuesday we should rejoin the 21st century - and get high-speed internet! We're so excited! We've been relegated to dial-up ever since we moved to the country -nothing else is available here. Now there's a wi-fi service that just expanded into the area! Even cell phone coverage is spotty here - it seems to depend on cloud coverage. Sometimes I get no cell signal at all, and other times I get just enough to irritate people because the conversation keeps fading out. Made it quite difficult Thanksgiving week - because Verizon had a problem and we had no phone or internet for over a WEEK! Talk about quiet! That company needs some serious competition. When they finally made it out, it was a 5 minute fix down the street. Gotta love it!
Still not running - but I am baking. Ginger-spice cookies, anyone? Tis the season to expand!
We had our homeschool co-op yesterday. This semester I'm teaching two classes, Math Games for 1st-4th graders, and a play/learn class for 3-5 year olds. Unfortunately, yesterday I also had to help out with another pre-school class. The woman teaching was running a tad late, so I was surrounded by 6 or 7 pint-sized people. One boy ran up to me, said something unintelligible, then pulled back his foot and kicked me in the shin. As my mouth dropped to the floor and I struggled for control (I figured it wasn't acceptable to kill someone else's kid) he pulled back his foot and kicked me again!!!! At this I grabbed him by the shoulders and hauled him into the nearest chair - then knelt down and informed him, in my best threatening voice, that he WILL NOT kick. At this point I realized he had been demonstrating his version of karate to me, because he was quick to inform me that karate people did indeed kick. So I quickly changed my threat to, "You will NOT kick HERE!"
While I was still recuperating from this, another boy ran to the bathroom. Usually not a problem, but this 5 year old apparently is not "wiping" yet - so I was called. With my eyes watering and valiantly trying not to retch, I did the odious deed (odiferous deed?) and considered telling his mother she needed to reconsider her menu selection. Then I got to spend another hour telling children to stop putting toys in their mouths, breaking up fights, calming screaming fits, and dealing with my own whining children (who were apparently in the first stage of illness - they're now camped out on the couch, complaining.) After my last class I sought out a girlfriend and honestly informed her that if my husband were not already "altered" I would be attempting it as soon as I returned home. I think I'll stick to the older kids for a while. At least they're self-wiping.
On a more positive note - this coming Tuesday we should rejoin the 21st century - and get high-speed internet! We're so excited! We've been relegated to dial-up ever since we moved to the country -nothing else is available here. Now there's a wi-fi service that just expanded into the area! Even cell phone coverage is spotty here - it seems to depend on cloud coverage. Sometimes I get no cell signal at all, and other times I get just enough to irritate people because the conversation keeps fading out. Made it quite difficult Thanksgiving week - because Verizon had a problem and we had no phone or internet for over a WEEK! Talk about quiet! That company needs some serious competition. When they finally made it out, it was a 5 minute fix down the street. Gotta love it!
Still not running - but I am baking. Ginger-spice cookies, anyone? Tis the season to expand!
Monday, December 04, 2006
December delights
Ah...cool breezes, a warm fire, hot coffee, fresh biscotti, meat-loaf and chocolate. Children flitting between learning about Greece, Charles V, multiplication and blackjack. The five year old gleefully announcing he's going "commando" today. I think I'm ready for winter. I'd even like to be snowed in for a while - although that's doubtful around here.
I did have to leave my comfortable countryside and head into civilization over the weekend. The homeschool store was having a sale - only 1 1/2 hours away! Passed by several malls on the way home - all with overflowing parking lots. Even the thought of taking the children inside had me hyperventilating. I was sooo glad to get back to the shore - and away from the crowds. Hard to believe I lived in NYC for six years. Actually, I'll be back there next week for a day. I plan on eating my way across town!
My heart's still acting up - mostly whenever I think about my mom. Apparently I'm internalizing a LOT more stress than I let on. Can anyone suggest a meditation book or dvd? If I lose myself in a book my heart rhythm returns to normal - but as soon as my brain clicks on my heart starts doing the cha-cha. I need to find something more long lasting. Lobotomy???
I need to run. Why aren't I? Let's see....1)there's a puzzle in progress on the treadmill 2)I'm nervous about exercising with the funky heart and 3)I keep procrastinating. I'm a really, really great procrastinator. The funny thing is, once I start actually DOING whatever I've been avoiding, it's NEVER as bad as I think it's going to be. I'm still my own worst enemy. {{{sigh}}} So much room for self-improvement - so little time and willpower.
Perhaps I need more chocolate???
Paxton, still un-running
I did have to leave my comfortable countryside and head into civilization over the weekend. The homeschool store was having a sale - only 1 1/2 hours away! Passed by several malls on the way home - all with overflowing parking lots. Even the thought of taking the children inside had me hyperventilating. I was sooo glad to get back to the shore - and away from the crowds. Hard to believe I lived in NYC for six years. Actually, I'll be back there next week for a day. I plan on eating my way across town!
My heart's still acting up - mostly whenever I think about my mom. Apparently I'm internalizing a LOT more stress than I let on. Can anyone suggest a meditation book or dvd? If I lose myself in a book my heart rhythm returns to normal - but as soon as my brain clicks on my heart starts doing the cha-cha. I need to find something more long lasting. Lobotomy???
I need to run. Why aren't I? Let's see....1)there's a puzzle in progress on the treadmill 2)I'm nervous about exercising with the funky heart and 3)I keep procrastinating. I'm a really, really great procrastinator. The funny thing is, once I start actually DOING whatever I've been avoiding, it's NEVER as bad as I think it's going to be. I'm still my own worst enemy. {{{sigh}}} So much room for self-improvement - so little time and willpower.
Perhaps I need more chocolate???
Paxton, still un-running
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
