Small problems

I have a whole new respect for day-care providers and pre-K teachers. How do they do that everyday without large quantities of drugs and/or alcohol???

We had our homeschool co-op yesterday. This semester I'm teaching two classes, Math Games for 1st-4th graders, and a play/learn class for 3-5 year olds. Unfortunately, yesterday I also had to help out with another pre-school class. The woman teaching was running a tad late, so I was surrounded by 6 or 7 pint-sized people. One boy ran up to me, said something unintelligible, then pulled back his foot and kicked me in the shin. As my mouth dropped to the floor and I struggled for control (I figured it wasn't acceptable to kill someone else's kid) he pulled back his foot and kicked me again!!!! At this I grabbed him by the shoulders and hauled him into the nearest chair - then knelt down and informed him, in my best threatening voice, that he WILL NOT kick. At this point I realized he had been demonstrating his version of karate to me, because he was quick to inform me that karate people did indeed kick. So I quickly changed my threat to, "You will NOT kick HERE!"

While I was still recuperating from this, another boy ran to the bathroom. Usually not a problem, but this 5 year old apparently is not "wiping" yet - so I was called. With my eyes watering and valiantly trying not to retch, I did the odious deed (odiferous deed?) and considered telling his mother she needed to reconsider her menu selection. Then I got to spend another hour telling children to stop putting toys in their mouths, breaking up fights, calming screaming fits, and dealing with my own whining children (who were apparently in the first stage of illness - they're now camped out on the couch, complaining.) After my last class I sought out a girlfriend and honestly informed her that if my husband were not already "altered" I would be attempting it as soon as I returned home. I think I'll stick to the older kids for a while. At least they're self-wiping.

On a more positive note - this coming Tuesday we should rejoin the 21st century - and get high-speed internet! We're so excited! We've been relegated to dial-up ever since we moved to the country -nothing else is available here. Now there's a wi-fi service that just expanded into the area! Even cell phone coverage is spotty here - it seems to depend on cloud coverage. Sometimes I get no cell signal at all, and other times I get just enough to irritate people because the conversation keeps fading out. Made it quite difficult Thanksgiving week - because Verizon had a problem and we had no phone or internet for over a WEEK! Talk about quiet! That company needs some serious competition. When they finally made it out, it was a 5 minute fix down the street. Gotta love it!

Still not running - but I am baking. Ginger-spice cookies, anyone? Tis the season to expand!