Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails...

I don't want to shock anyone - but I just can't keep it to myself any longer. Ready? Here goes:

Boys are ....... different. Their brains are apparently just wired differently from the gentler sex. Namely....ME!

Exhibit A: We spent last week with my mother, who was recovering from knee surgery. Now my mother is fastidious at best. Obsessive also comes to mind. She has - and has always had - a very, very clean house. (note how she never managed to pass that knowledge along to me, however. Ah well.)

Anyway....after an exhausting day (everyone, including children, left the house at 6am, my mom had knee surgery, we got prescriptions filled, went back to her house and took care of meals, dogs, laundry, etc.) I had finally collapsed into a chair to stare mindlessly at the television set. (I think it was on - but I'm not really sure). The eldest comes in and whispers in my ear, "Gabe did something really, really bad......he drew on grandma's closet doors."

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

I ran from the room and yup - there it was. He had labeled the two closets in the spare bedroom. "MEN AND BOYS" and "WOMEN AND GIRLS". All spelled correctly with impeccable printing, I might add.

I think the back of my head came off. Now, it's not like he's permitted to write on walls or furniture at home. I do know people that allow it and don't like to stifle a young one's creativity. Me - I stifle.

He was able to clean off the damage - using elbow grease and a Magic Eraser. (wow, do I LOVE those things!!!) He was later explaining to his grandma that he just wanted to label the closets so that the boys got the good closet with the light. I asked why he hadn't written on a piece of paper and taped it to the door. His eyes got large, his mouth dropped open, and he admitted that would have worked, as well.

I'm with Bill Cosby - they're just brain damaged. Testosterone poisoning, possibly?

Now, Exhibit B: Yesterday I walk into the kitchen, Gabe has just let our small dog into the house, but hasn't unhooked the leash. I bend down to do so and realize that the white dog is now BLACK, soaking wet, dripping, and trembling. Not being stupid, I turned to Gabe, "WHAT DID YOU DO?????"

His answer...."Tee hee hee hee. I got her with the hose!"

Me...."WHY????"

Brain damaged male child: "I HAD too, the cat ran away and hid and I HAD to squirt something!!!!"

Nuff said?

The real question....is this just a phase and life will get better? OR....is this the beginning of the downward spiral into stupid male tricks?????

I'm beginning to understand the blessings of boarding school! Don't boys start them around 6 six years old? Hmmmm......

Yeesh.