I went 4.1 miles this morning! Wahoo!!! [Please note: I did NOT say I RAN 4.1 miles. I walked, jogged some, walked, jogged, ran a wee bit, walked a LOT more! But I got there!]
I had just cleared the neighborhood at 5:45am - was in the middle of two corn fields - when I heard a truck approaching behind me and slowing down! The work truck actually stopped NEXT to me! I took a deep breath and turned with my best "tough" look - only to find a guy I've known for over 30 years! We both lived in Baltimore, and our families were close. I later "adopted" the family, and this guy became my youngest brother. We both live on the Eastern Shore now - but rarely see each other. And here he recognized me from behind before dawn! I told him to bring coffee next time! As I walked on, I also got to enjoy birds, deer and frogs! (but didn't know any of them!)
Had a good weekend, too! Taught a training all day Saturday, and didn't have anyone quit on me! (I coordinate Mid-Shore Project Read; a volunteer adult literacy program) When I got home Saturday, an old roommate had called to say she would be in the area that evening, and wanted to go to dinner. We had a great time! I hadn't seen her in about 8 years.
Yesterday we finally had the bike trip with T and her gang - at Patapsco Valley State Park. It was quite hot - and the kids (all 5 of em) petered out quickly in favor of playing in the stream/river. On the way home we discovered Arundal Mills Mall - what a find! I didn't know there were any "Books a Million" stores out here! Found a great book, "Galloway's Book of Running" - he gives a lot of information! We also found another Costco store there - always a find! We were all beat when we finally arrived home!
Ahhhhh. A good weekend.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Pain, Sweat and Hot Flashes!
I still have no idea how I'm going to get my body over 26 miles without public transportation being involved. That's bad, right? I did 2.75 miles on the treadmill this morning - with a new speed record average of 4.2 miler per hour. My personal best - but surely considered a "drunken pub crawl pace" by real runners.
It's funny - I always believed I didn't sweat. Let me tell you - doing this "Grandma crawl" for less than three miles - my clothes were soaked, my hair was soaked, and my face was a rather frightening dark red. I kept leaning over to try to use the heart monitor (a very awkward position - cause I'm over 5'10") and never did get a believable pulse! The number, when it bothered to show up, was either 68 (whoa! Call the Olympics!) or 196 (whoa! Call 911!) What a waste!
So...I'll have to figure out how to monitor my pulse the old-fashioned way...........Nope. I suck at this, too! I end up holding my breath, which makes my heartbeat irregular, then I lose count! yeesh. Oh well....I'm pretty attune to my heart - and it didn't feel like I was ready to have a heart attack! Think that's good enough?
On a positive note....my ankle has been hurting me all week, so I didn't run. Wanted to give it time to heal. Started today, and the ankle really began to bother me. It almost seemed bruised, though I don't see anything. The running shoe made it feel even worse. I decided to ignore it and continue. Surprise! By the time I was done jogging, the ankle felt fine! How strange! I believed that by NOT "working through the pain" I was protecting myself. Now, it seems that pushing my body to go farther actually helps me work through the problem. Who knew?
It's funny - I always believed I didn't sweat. Let me tell you - doing this "Grandma crawl" for less than three miles - my clothes were soaked, my hair was soaked, and my face was a rather frightening dark red. I kept leaning over to try to use the heart monitor (a very awkward position - cause I'm over 5'10") and never did get a believable pulse! The number, when it bothered to show up, was either 68 (whoa! Call the Olympics!) or 196 (whoa! Call 911!) What a waste!
So...I'll have to figure out how to monitor my pulse the old-fashioned way...........Nope. I suck at this, too! I end up holding my breath, which makes my heartbeat irregular, then I lose count! yeesh. Oh well....I'm pretty attune to my heart - and it didn't feel like I was ready to have a heart attack! Think that's good enough?
On a positive note....my ankle has been hurting me all week, so I didn't run. Wanted to give it time to heal. Started today, and the ankle really began to bother me. It almost seemed bruised, though I don't see anything. The running shoe made it feel even worse. I decided to ignore it and continue. Surprise! By the time I was done jogging, the ankle felt fine! How strange! I believed that by NOT "working through the pain" I was protecting myself. Now, it seems that pushing my body to go farther actually helps me work through the problem. Who knew?
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
It's Official!
Wow, a LOT's been going on!
Let's see....I officially signed up with The Strides for Hope Marathon - Jamaica, here I come! Of course, between getting ready to go 26 miles, going 26 miles, and recovering from going 26 miles - I'm not sure I'll be seeing much of Jamaica!
I also got the fundraising webpage organized today! It will still be tweaked some, I'm sure - but the basic stuff is there. Check it out at www.firstgiving.org/neversettle
I haven't had a good run since Saturday - although I did have a fun new experience...trail running! We took the kids to Tuckahoe Park, and hiked/ran through the Lake Trail to the Cherry Road Playground. We all had a great time! I really prefer trail running to road running. Softer ground, SHADE, and much more interesting! If I can get my speed up, I could run and the kids could take bikes. Wait, Gabe's bike is a tagalong behind mine or John's. Maybe I need one of those rickshaw's they use in Asia? Yeah, I'd be hauling three kids behind me in a New York minute.
At any rate, I actually opened up and ran for all I was worth for a short distance - it was fantastic! I wasn't even particularly out of breath! Of course, I did have to cut short my run the next day, cause my head hurt and my knees ached. Sooooo...maybe it wasn't a particularly good idea. Especially because I was wearing my old sneakers, not my new running shoes. (Too $$$$ to get them muddied up!)
I also got my blog set up, and transferred my old files to it.
Mind you...NONE of these things were on my official to-do list today. But...they suddenly seemed....important.
Let's see....I officially signed up with The Strides for Hope Marathon - Jamaica, here I come! Of course, between getting ready to go 26 miles, going 26 miles, and recovering from going 26 miles - I'm not sure I'll be seeing much of Jamaica!
I also got the fundraising webpage organized today! It will still be tweaked some, I'm sure - but the basic stuff is there. Check it out at www.firstgiving.org/neversettle
I haven't had a good run since Saturday - although I did have a fun new experience...trail running! We took the kids to Tuckahoe Park, and hiked/ran through the Lake Trail to the Cherry Road Playground. We all had a great time! I really prefer trail running to road running. Softer ground, SHADE, and much more interesting! If I can get my speed up, I could run and the kids could take bikes. Wait, Gabe's bike is a tagalong behind mine or John's. Maybe I need one of those rickshaw's they use in Asia? Yeah, I'd be hauling three kids behind me in a New York minute.
At any rate, I actually opened up and ran for all I was worth for a short distance - it was fantastic! I wasn't even particularly out of breath! Of course, I did have to cut short my run the next day, cause my head hurt and my knees ached. Sooooo...maybe it wasn't a particularly good idea. Especially because I was wearing my old sneakers, not my new running shoes. (Too $$$$ to get them muddied up!)
I also got my blog set up, and transferred my old files to it.
Mind you...NONE of these things were on my official to-do list today. But...they suddenly seemed....important.
The Leader of the Pack
July 22, 2006
I had my alarm set for 5am today. I was going to jog/walk 3 miles OUTSIDE, then my husband was going for a 12 mile bike ride. Unfortunately, the thunder, lightening and rain woke me before the alarm. According the weather report, it’s going to storm off and on all day –which means we also can’t take the family bike ride we had planned for later, meeting up with T and her gang.
The weather cleared before 8am – so I dressed in running shorts, sport top, and hand held water bottle. No MP3, no hat, no stuff. I hit the road, alternating between a fast walk and a slow jog, and went 1.5 miles out and back. I did 3 miles in 45 minutes – outside! And….I felt great when it was over. Hot, but not particularly tired! Wow!
And, for the thrill seekers among you….. I had my first encounter with large, less than friendly dogs. They were quite a distance away but began barking and running towards me. One of these dogs had attacked my rat terrier when we were walking last summer – actually had my poor 10lb wuppie in it’s teeth off of the ground before the dog’s owner called it away. The guy never said anything to me, or asked about my dog. Sooo….I knew I was on my own with these two. Actually, the guy was calling them, sort of. They just ignored him, too busy crossing the field to get to me! I stopped and faced them as they got closer, then when they were three feet away I yelled “STOP!......NO….GO HOME….NOW!!!!” All issued in my best Rambo voice. They had stopped cold and ceased barking when I barked the first command – they locked eyes with me – I gave them my most ferocious hairy eyeball – and they turned and trotted meekly home!!!! WAHOO!!!!! Make no mistake who’s the pack leader around here! I was actually more mad than scared – and was quite prepared to fight the mongrels.
I felt very strong and independent as I resumed my jog. Unstoppable.
Very cool.
I had my alarm set for 5am today. I was going to jog/walk 3 miles OUTSIDE, then my husband was going for a 12 mile bike ride. Unfortunately, the thunder, lightening and rain woke me before the alarm. According the weather report, it’s going to storm off and on all day –which means we also can’t take the family bike ride we had planned for later, meeting up with T and her gang.
The weather cleared before 8am – so I dressed in running shorts, sport top, and hand held water bottle. No MP3, no hat, no stuff. I hit the road, alternating between a fast walk and a slow jog, and went 1.5 miles out and back. I did 3 miles in 45 minutes – outside! And….I felt great when it was over. Hot, but not particularly tired! Wow!
And, for the thrill seekers among you….. I had my first encounter with large, less than friendly dogs. They were quite a distance away but began barking and running towards me. One of these dogs had attacked my rat terrier when we were walking last summer – actually had my poor 10lb wuppie in it’s teeth off of the ground before the dog’s owner called it away. The guy never said anything to me, or asked about my dog. Sooo….I knew I was on my own with these two. Actually, the guy was calling them, sort of. They just ignored him, too busy crossing the field to get to me! I stopped and faced them as they got closer, then when they were three feet away I yelled “STOP!......NO….GO HOME….NOW!!!!” All issued in my best Rambo voice. They had stopped cold and ceased barking when I barked the first command – they locked eyes with me – I gave them my most ferocious hairy eyeball – and they turned and trotted meekly home!!!! WAHOO!!!!! Make no mistake who’s the pack leader around here! I was actually more mad than scared – and was quite prepared to fight the mongrels.
I felt very strong and independent as I resumed my jog. Unstoppable.
Very cool.
This is starting to feel GOOD!
July 20, 2006
I went 3 miles in 45 minutes today! Hooray! And….I feel GREAT! Bring it on! I can do ANYTHING!!!
I’m going to the library today, to get some books on running. (I’m a book nut from waaaay back!)
I still have to start running outside – apparently the treadmill does not prepare you completely. I’ll have the group run on Saturdays (an hour drive away), I think I’ll negotiate with my husband to go running early 1 -2 mornings a week. He’s training for a bike marathon, so he rides before work. He also works late – and I have 3 young children 24/7. Year round, since we homeschool. They are ages 4, 7 and 8. Old enough not to need me every minute, but not nearly old enough to leave unattended. I want to see if the local high school has a track. I could practice, and they could play. It would be a boring run – AND difficult to get the kids fed and out of the house early enough to miss the heat – but the idea has possibilities.
Ooops, time’s a wasting. Have to get to work.
I went 3 miles in 45 minutes today! Hooray! And….I feel GREAT! Bring it on! I can do ANYTHING!!!
I’m going to the library today, to get some books on running. (I’m a book nut from waaaay back!)
I still have to start running outside – apparently the treadmill does not prepare you completely. I’ll have the group run on Saturdays (an hour drive away), I think I’ll negotiate with my husband to go running early 1 -2 mornings a week. He’s training for a bike marathon, so he rides before work. He also works late – and I have 3 young children 24/7. Year round, since we homeschool. They are ages 4, 7 and 8. Old enough not to need me every minute, but not nearly old enough to leave unattended. I want to see if the local high school has a track. I could practice, and they could play. It would be a boring run – AND difficult to get the kids fed and out of the house early enough to miss the heat – but the idea has possibilities.
Ooops, time’s a wasting. Have to get to work.
Back on track!
July 19, 2006
Hooray – actually got to work out today! I decided to push for endurance instead of speed – and went 3 miles in 51 minutes! Even more importantly – I felt great! Averaged just over 3.5 miles per hour – but felt like I could have gone forever!
Even better news, my friend T –who has the stage IV breast cancer – is strongly considering doing this marathon with me! And yeah, it’s rather ironic that someone with invasive cancer is in as good of shape, if not better, than I am! Still, doing a brisk walk with occasional jogging with her would be a wonderful experience – a memory to cherish.
Hooray – actually got to work out today! I decided to push for endurance instead of speed – and went 3 miles in 51 minutes! Even more importantly – I felt great! Averaged just over 3.5 miles per hour – but felt like I could have gone forever!
Even better news, my friend T –who has the stage IV breast cancer – is strongly considering doing this marathon with me! And yeah, it’s rather ironic that someone with invasive cancer is in as good of shape, if not better, than I am! Still, doing a brisk walk with occasional jogging with her would be a wonderful experience – a memory to cherish.
Hot. Very hot......I hate hot.
July 18, 2006
I spoke with the coordinator of the Strides for Hope Marathon, Delmarva chapter yesterday. He was great! Apparently most of the participants walk the ½ marathon (13 miles). I’ve never traveled 13 miles on foot in my life –so even that’s pretty amazing! I’m still working on my endurance and speed, though. I really want to do 26 miles. Wonder if I should hold out for that scooter???
Couldn’t run today. The treadmill, in addition to the air conditioner’s battling 100 degree temperatures, kept blowing the fuse. I did almost a mile – and the heat was nasty (no AC in that room!). My shoes feel good though! I just need to lace them less tightly – had to stop and redo them twice (in under a mile – oiy!)
I spoke with the coordinator of the Strides for Hope Marathon, Delmarva chapter yesterday. He was great! Apparently most of the participants walk the ½ marathon (13 miles). I’ve never traveled 13 miles on foot in my life –so even that’s pretty amazing! I’m still working on my endurance and speed, though. I really want to do 26 miles. Wonder if I should hold out for that scooter???
Couldn’t run today. The treadmill, in addition to the air conditioner’s battling 100 degree temperatures, kept blowing the fuse. I did almost a mile – and the heat was nasty (no AC in that room!). My shoes feel good though! I just need to lace them less tightly – had to stop and redo them twice (in under a mile – oiy!)
Back to baby steps
July 17, 2006
I’m feeling better. I spoke with several folks, who all agreed I had tried to do too much, too soon, in too much nasty heat! I’m taking today off, and will go at it again tomorrow, with less speed.
At this rate I'll be a grandma before I can move this body 26 miles. And my oldest is only 8!
I’m feeling better. I spoke with several folks, who all agreed I had tried to do too much, too soon, in too much nasty heat! I’m taking today off, and will go at it again tomorrow, with less speed.
At this rate I'll be a grandma before I can move this body 26 miles. And my oldest is only 8!
They shoot horses, don't they?
July 16, 2006
Bought my running shoes at Vernon Powell in Salisbury. More money than I’ve ever spent on shoes – and as my son said, “They’re UGLY!”. And…..because you have to size up so much, I take a size 11! Yipes!
Went running outside, in my new shoes, and using the water hip pack for the first time. I looked like a runner!
Failed. Utterly.
First, it was too hot. Didn’t start til 10am, cause my husband was on a bike ride earlier. And, to be fair, I was busy finding the kitchen and drinking coffee. I hate hot. I hate sun. I had the hat, the shades, the sunblock, the water bag and the MP3 player.
It sucked.
Not only was I too hot to breathe, let alone run – but the fanny water pack SUCKED! The tube kept rubbing my arm, or the hose kept coming loose, the MP3 player kept falling, the bag was heavy and awkward and kept bouncing on my back. I was miserable. The only things that didn’t hurt were my feet. Came home quickly (15 minutes, max) and bit everyone in my path. Took my body to the treadmill – only to have the muscles over my knees hurt so much I had to stop. They really ache. The only thing I’ve changed (beside the shoes) was move up to a faster pace. Maybe it’s just adjustment issues? My hips certainly hurt the first few days of jogging. Now it’s muscles. Could be worse, I guess – could be joints.
I just feel like…..a loser. I’m not sure I can do this. What the hell was I thinking???? I HATE running! I hate being out in the heat of the day! I’m royally pissed. At myself, and at the world at large.
What have I gotten myself into? I really want to reach this goal. But right now….I just want to cry.
Bought my running shoes at Vernon Powell in Salisbury. More money than I’ve ever spent on shoes – and as my son said, “They’re UGLY!”. And…..because you have to size up so much, I take a size 11! Yipes!
Went running outside, in my new shoes, and using the water hip pack for the first time. I looked like a runner!
Failed. Utterly.
First, it was too hot. Didn’t start til 10am, cause my husband was on a bike ride earlier. And, to be fair, I was busy finding the kitchen and drinking coffee. I hate hot. I hate sun. I had the hat, the shades, the sunblock, the water bag and the MP3 player.
It sucked.
Not only was I too hot to breathe, let alone run – but the fanny water pack SUCKED! The tube kept rubbing my arm, or the hose kept coming loose, the MP3 player kept falling, the bag was heavy and awkward and kept bouncing on my back. I was miserable. The only things that didn’t hurt were my feet. Came home quickly (15 minutes, max) and bit everyone in my path. Took my body to the treadmill – only to have the muscles over my knees hurt so much I had to stop. They really ache. The only thing I’ve changed (beside the shoes) was move up to a faster pace. Maybe it’s just adjustment issues? My hips certainly hurt the first few days of jogging. Now it’s muscles. Could be worse, I guess – could be joints.
I just feel like…..a loser. I’m not sure I can do this. What the hell was I thinking???? I HATE running! I hate being out in the heat of the day! I’m royally pissed. At myself, and at the world at large.
What have I gotten myself into? I really want to reach this goal. But right now….I just want to cry.
Baby Steps...
July 15, 2006
I did 2 miles in 28 minutes today – my goal! Yeah! I’m buying real running shoes later today – yippee! I've been taking it easy in my old beat up sneakers - I'm terrified of screwing up my knees or ankles!
And for you real runners out there....I know, this is pathetic. Still, you have to start somewhere! Anthony Robbins calls it CANI...Constant and Never-Ending Improvement. I just hope I can improve enough by December 2 - of THIS YEAR!
I did 2 miles in 28 minutes today – my goal! Yeah! I’m buying real running shoes later today – yippee! I've been taking it easy in my old beat up sneakers - I'm terrified of screwing up my knees or ankles!
And for you real runners out there....I know, this is pathetic. Still, you have to start somewhere! Anthony Robbins calls it CANI...Constant and Never-Ending Improvement. I just hope I can improve enough by December 2 - of THIS YEAR!
All those in Favor of an air-conditioned Marathon...
July 4, 2006
Just did my first walk/jog out of doors. Sun…..hot! Think there’s any chance they’d move the marathon to a nice air conditioned mall? And let us use scooters???
I did almost two miles – I’m not exactly sure of the distance. I did 5 different sprints between telephone poles – now I need to find out how far apart those suckers are!
I must say…I now understand why my old goals of “getting into shape” or “losing weight” did not keep me motivated. I have to tell you – I’d just as soon NOT be in great shape if this is the price I have to pay. It’s just not enough motivation for me.
Cancer, however, is more motivating for me. I visualize that by pushing myself to run to the next telephone pole, I’m fighting cancer. It works. I keep moving.
Just did my first walk/jog out of doors. Sun…..hot! Think there’s any chance they’d move the marathon to a nice air conditioned mall? And let us use scooters???
I did almost two miles – I’m not exactly sure of the distance. I did 5 different sprints between telephone poles – now I need to find out how far apart those suckers are!
I must say…I now understand why my old goals of “getting into shape” or “losing weight” did not keep me motivated. I have to tell you – I’d just as soon NOT be in great shape if this is the price I have to pay. It’s just not enough motivation for me.
Cancer, however, is more motivating for me. I visualize that by pushing myself to run to the next telephone pole, I’m fighting cancer. It works. I keep moving.
The Granny Shuffle
July 3, 2006
Well, so far this morning I feel – and am walking – like Grandma Moses. Who knew one day of exercise would cause my hips to file an injunction against me??? I don’t think the fast walking did this – I do walk more or less regularly. I think the increased strain of jogging caused the knee and hip pain. Why do people choose to run? Do I really want to do this???
Gee, talking of quitting so soon! No pain, no gain…….right? After I take care of the kids and the house I’ll walk again, maybe that will loosen up my joints.
***********************
All right! I did 2 miles on the treadmill, mostly w/ a gentle incline, and even did some jogging for a minute and a half! I can do a brisk walk at 3.8 mph, and probably go for quite some time – but I’ll need to increase my speed to do the marathon. At least get my median speed to 5.2 mph – that will allow me to finish the marathon in 5 hours.
Now excuse me while I shuffle into the kitchen to fix dinner. Just call me grandma!
Well, so far this morning I feel – and am walking – like Grandma Moses. Who knew one day of exercise would cause my hips to file an injunction against me??? I don’t think the fast walking did this – I do walk more or less regularly. I think the increased strain of jogging caused the knee and hip pain. Why do people choose to run? Do I really want to do this???
Gee, talking of quitting so soon! No pain, no gain…….right? After I take care of the kids and the house I’ll walk again, maybe that will loosen up my joints.
***********************
All right! I did 2 miles on the treadmill, mostly w/ a gentle incline, and even did some jogging for a minute and a half! I can do a brisk walk at 3.8 mph, and probably go for quite some time – but I’ll need to increase my speed to do the marathon. At least get my median speed to 5.2 mph – that will allow me to finish the marathon in 5 hours.
Now excuse me while I shuffle into the kitchen to fix dinner. Just call me grandma!
Digging Out and Getting On (the Treadmill, that is!)
July 2, 2006
We have a treadmill. We don’t use the treadmill, mind you. It is buried in our front room, blocked in by mountains of stuff, and totally unusable.
Until today.
I cleaned out the front room while listening to motivational tapes, and eventually was able to set up the treadmill. Yay! It still works! I walked a mile, sweating profusely and threatening to quit every quarter mile.
I also looked online for marathon training for novices. Very important, since the idea of running 26 miles makes my brain say, “Shoot me now!”. Apparently, I’m supposed to start off running 1.5 miles for a few days, then increase to 3 miles by the end of the week.
3 miles???? Are you insane???
Back to the treadmill, fueled with water and Anthony Robbins. After all, how hard could this be???
Well……..it’s not easy! I did 1.5 miles, alternating between a fast walk and a slow jog. My heart’s not in great shape, I’ve babied it for years, stopping when the rate became too rapid. As a teenager I had mitral valve prolapse, and my heart would skip and start palpitations when I moved too much. I eventually gave up anything that put my heart in that state. I’ve apparently outgrown the mitral valve problem, and just have a slight murmur and a tendency towards PVCs, which I control with fish oil and Q-10.
Still, I did 1.5 miles….and I feel great!
Who knew?
We have a treadmill. We don’t use the treadmill, mind you. It is buried in our front room, blocked in by mountains of stuff, and totally unusable.
Until today.
I cleaned out the front room while listening to motivational tapes, and eventually was able to set up the treadmill. Yay! It still works! I walked a mile, sweating profusely and threatening to quit every quarter mile.
I also looked online for marathon training for novices. Very important, since the idea of running 26 miles makes my brain say, “Shoot me now!”. Apparently, I’m supposed to start off running 1.5 miles for a few days, then increase to 3 miles by the end of the week.
3 miles???? Are you insane???
Back to the treadmill, fueled with water and Anthony Robbins. After all, how hard could this be???
Well……..it’s not easy! I did 1.5 miles, alternating between a fast walk and a slow jog. My heart’s not in great shape, I’ve babied it for years, stopping when the rate became too rapid. As a teenager I had mitral valve prolapse, and my heart would skip and start palpitations when I moved too much. I eventually gave up anything that put my heart in that state. I’ve apparently outgrown the mitral valve problem, and just have a slight murmur and a tendency towards PVCs, which I control with fish oil and Q-10.
Still, I did 1.5 miles….and I feel great!
Who knew?
The Beginning of the Insanity...
July 1, 2006
I hate exercise. I have never been an athlete. I pride myself on “Never sweating”. A good friend of mine began running marathons several years ago – and while I was proud of her accomplishments – I thought she was nuts. “I don’t run,” I told everyone who would listen and laugh, “unless something very large and ugly is chasing me!”
Today I received a postcard in the mail from The Wellness Community on Delmarva, asking for people to join their “Strides for Hope Team for the Jamaica Marathon”. Instead of immediately tossing the card into the trash, the evil twin who lives inside my brain perked up with….”Hey….we could do that!!!”
Me: Excuse me? We’ve never ran further than the corner – even in high school – which was more than two decades ago! We hate anything that brings us pain – and the only time we willingly embraced physical labor and pain was for the unassisted childbirth of child #3!
Evil Twin: Exactly! And since we managed that (quite nicely, I add) we can run this marathon!
Me: Ummm…perhaps you’ve noticed we do NOT have a FOURTH child???? Maybe there’s a reason for that!
Evil Twin: Different subject. Listen to me……not only CAN we do this….we NEED to do this!
Me: Whaaaaatttt??????
Evil Twin: Do you remember what The Wellness Community does? Do you remember WHY we know of them, why we’ve used their services?
Unfortunately, I remember all too well why I’m a big supported of The Wellness Community. On December 30, 2005, my best friend was diagnosed with Stage IV Breast Cancer. She was 34 years old, and had two small children. I was with her when the doctor broke the news, and suddenly my brain could not grasp anything beyond the point that “T has advanced cancer. It’s in her lungs, her spine, and her leg. Everything is over.”
I was in shock. I spent weeks bursting into tears at the smallest thing. My children (we homeschool) fended for themselves, the house fell apart, we ate whatever we could scrounge out of the kitchen. I cried and researched cancer. And then I cried more. The odds sucked. Everytime I told someone about my friend, they had their own story to share. The stories always ended with…..”and she died.” I stopped telling people.
I knew I needed an outlet for my grief. It had gotten to the point that the only conversations my husband and I shared, after he worked 12 hours a day, were about T and Cancer. I knew it wasn’t fair – but I needed to get the feelings out.
One day I noticed in the newspaper that a Cancer Support group, for people who have family or friends affected by cancer, was meeting in Easton! I clipped out the number, but didn’t call. I have always solved my own issues, I’ve never been in a group therapy setup. I muddled on.
A week or so later I had a really bad Cancer day. The kind of day when Cancer is all you can think about – and all you can do is cry. I realized my children deserved better than this, so I called the number from the newspaper, and explained my situation. They welcomed me with open arms, and I joined the bi-monthly support group in Easton. It was amazing. The facilitator, Pam Black, was incredible. She was so good at recognizing when we were trying to take on too much, or not trying enough. She really confronted us about our emotions, our problems, and possible solutions. I soon became able to deal with having Cancer in my life, without letting it take over my entire life.
I’m thrilled to say that my friend’s Stage IV cancer is almost in complete remission. Most doctors predict that a year or so of remission is the best we can expect – but we’ve talked with others who have heard similar things, and are still around and living full, productive lives. My friend realized Cancer is her wake-up call; and has totally restructured her life and made some hard decisions. She’s happy. She now calls cancer her self-improvement program.
I’ve been working on my own self-improvement program. Many of my goals center on writing, motivating others, public speaking and travel. But under the community and charity goal I had written, “Raise $50,000 for The Wellness Community by 1/1/08”. Another goal was focusing on my health, including diet, hydration, and exercise.
And now I am looking at a postcard asking for people to raise money for The Wellness Community by participating in a marathon – and the marathon is in Jamaica! The books I’ve been reading continually tell me that when we decide what we want, the universe offers us the opportunity to reach those goals. We simply need to be in a receptive enough state to recognize the challenge and rise to meet it.
Well, this is certainly a challenge. Not only have I NEVER been athletic, but I find the whole idea distasteful. More importantly, my past is littered with dreams that I abandon when they become too difficult. I’m not known for my persistence and determination. I’m not known for stating a distant goal….and reaching it.
Still, I want to change my life. I want to dream impossible dreams, and I want to make them come true. I want a life worth living. I want to make a difference.
I have told the universe what I want to achieve in my life – and I received a postcard for the Strides for Hope Team.
It is up to me what I do with what the universe has sent me.
I hate exercise. I have never been an athlete. I pride myself on “Never sweating”. A good friend of mine began running marathons several years ago – and while I was proud of her accomplishments – I thought she was nuts. “I don’t run,” I told everyone who would listen and laugh, “unless something very large and ugly is chasing me!”
Today I received a postcard in the mail from The Wellness Community on Delmarva, asking for people to join their “Strides for Hope Team for the Jamaica Marathon”. Instead of immediately tossing the card into the trash, the evil twin who lives inside my brain perked up with….”Hey….we could do that!!!”
Me: Excuse me? We’ve never ran further than the corner – even in high school – which was more than two decades ago! We hate anything that brings us pain – and the only time we willingly embraced physical labor and pain was for the unassisted childbirth of child #3!
Evil Twin: Exactly! And since we managed that (quite nicely, I add) we can run this marathon!
Me: Ummm…perhaps you’ve noticed we do NOT have a FOURTH child???? Maybe there’s a reason for that!
Evil Twin: Different subject. Listen to me……not only CAN we do this….we NEED to do this!
Me: Whaaaaatttt??????
Evil Twin: Do you remember what The Wellness Community does? Do you remember WHY we know of them, why we’ve used their services?
Unfortunately, I remember all too well why I’m a big supported of The Wellness Community. On December 30, 2005, my best friend was diagnosed with Stage IV Breast Cancer. She was 34 years old, and had two small children. I was with her when the doctor broke the news, and suddenly my brain could not grasp anything beyond the point that “T has advanced cancer. It’s in her lungs, her spine, and her leg. Everything is over.”
I was in shock. I spent weeks bursting into tears at the smallest thing. My children (we homeschool) fended for themselves, the house fell apart, we ate whatever we could scrounge out of the kitchen. I cried and researched cancer. And then I cried more. The odds sucked. Everytime I told someone about my friend, they had their own story to share. The stories always ended with…..”and she died.” I stopped telling people.
I knew I needed an outlet for my grief. It had gotten to the point that the only conversations my husband and I shared, after he worked 12 hours a day, were about T and Cancer. I knew it wasn’t fair – but I needed to get the feelings out.
One day I noticed in the newspaper that a Cancer Support group, for people who have family or friends affected by cancer, was meeting in Easton! I clipped out the number, but didn’t call. I have always solved my own issues, I’ve never been in a group therapy setup. I muddled on.
A week or so later I had a really bad Cancer day. The kind of day when Cancer is all you can think about – and all you can do is cry. I realized my children deserved better than this, so I called the number from the newspaper, and explained my situation. They welcomed me with open arms, and I joined the bi-monthly support group in Easton. It was amazing. The facilitator, Pam Black, was incredible. She was so good at recognizing when we were trying to take on too much, or not trying enough. She really confronted us about our emotions, our problems, and possible solutions. I soon became able to deal with having Cancer in my life, without letting it take over my entire life.
I’m thrilled to say that my friend’s Stage IV cancer is almost in complete remission. Most doctors predict that a year or so of remission is the best we can expect – but we’ve talked with others who have heard similar things, and are still around and living full, productive lives. My friend realized Cancer is her wake-up call; and has totally restructured her life and made some hard decisions. She’s happy. She now calls cancer her self-improvement program.
I’ve been working on my own self-improvement program. Many of my goals center on writing, motivating others, public speaking and travel. But under the community and charity goal I had written, “Raise $50,000 for The Wellness Community by 1/1/08”. Another goal was focusing on my health, including diet, hydration, and exercise.
And now I am looking at a postcard asking for people to raise money for The Wellness Community by participating in a marathon – and the marathon is in Jamaica! The books I’ve been reading continually tell me that when we decide what we want, the universe offers us the opportunity to reach those goals. We simply need to be in a receptive enough state to recognize the challenge and rise to meet it.
Well, this is certainly a challenge. Not only have I NEVER been athletic, but I find the whole idea distasteful. More importantly, my past is littered with dreams that I abandon when they become too difficult. I’m not known for my persistence and determination. I’m not known for stating a distant goal….and reaching it.
Still, I want to change my life. I want to dream impossible dreams, and I want to make them come true. I want a life worth living. I want to make a difference.
I have told the universe what I want to achieve in my life – and I received a postcard for the Strides for Hope Team.
It is up to me what I do with what the universe has sent me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
