I'm having a deep blue funky kind of day. Haven't run yet - hopefully that will help. I've been marathon cleaning all day, trying to re-establish order. It feels as satisfying - and long lasting - as nailing jello to a tree. {{{sigh}}}
I'm working on improving my ability to juggle many different things - without messing up everything. I have no clue how some people do everything so...effortlessly. It seems as if as soon as I focus on one thing - three other things fall apart. I have made anal list after anal list....I just need to pick one and commit to it!
Another reason for the funk...Theresa found out that a young woman she had met and talked with at a cancer support group died -leaving 2 very young children. Yet another casualty of breast cancer. We've read her online journal - which is being kept up by her husband. It's heart breaking. And terrifying.
I've noticed that the less empowered I feel, the more disorganized I become -and more likely to have a "bad cancer day". For you lucky ones that don't know what that entails... it means panic breathing, overwhelming memories of a terrifying diagnosis, and sleepless nights as you fear the future. [For any newbies: I don't have cancer - but my best friend was diagnosed 8 months ago with Stage IV breast cancer - at age 34. She's doing great, although she's considered "incurable"]
I need to run. Far, fast and furious.
On an up note...my husband, John, completed the metric century bike ride in Lancaster, PA on Sunday. 65 miles - and according to John - 62 of them were uphill! Way to go, Sweetie!
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2 comments:
Hope that you managed to get out and put some miles under your feet - It always helps me to clear my head.
I know its hard to accept things that we cannot change, but we can make a difference in those things over which we have control. I hope you find your comfort zone. We are so much more effective when we are the calm in the storm! Have a great run. I hope it reduces your stress factor ten fold!!
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